Pre-marital Counseling
Thank you for your willingness to explore ways to invest in yourselves and lay a secure foundation for your relationship in your future. Marriage is a big investment, emotionally and financially.
Wha’s Up With Your Relationship
It feels like we fight all the time ___
We’ve lost our affection and sexual caring ___
I want to work on our friendship ___
We want to move past infidelity ___
We are planning big things together ___
One or both of us have had issues maintaining relationship in the past ___
Laying a secure foundation of trust, understanding and caring are critical to keeping your relationship alive. In as few as six sessions I can teach you the basics of what works and doesn’t work. I can help you learn advanced relationship skills such as caring behaviors, love language and conflict resolution skills which will pay off big dividends for your future.
I believe couples do the best they can with what resources they have to keep their relationships healthy but get caught up in so many other things they forget whats important. Couples also don’t realize they have a Soul Contract to heal each other’s unconscious shadow parts and childhood wounds.
Join Me and Have the Relationship of Your Dreams not Your Nightmares.
We have training for everything succeed in life but ofter relationship come last.
Throughout my years of working with couples and marriages, I’m more convinced than ever that many couples’ relationships suffer needlessly because all too often, partners have not learned the important skills which make the marriage or relationship work.
“Most couples are not out to hurt each other. They simply haven’t had the opportunity to learn about what makes relationships and marriages work”
It Takes Courage and Commitment To Keep Your Relationship Healthy.
I admire you for your courage and willingness to make your relationship a priority. I’m also glad your are willing to consider pre-marital counseling to get your marriage off to a vibrant start..
By partnering with me, you will receive the wisdom of 40 years of research on what creates masters and disasters of marriage.
I provide counseling online to individuals and couples desiring to better their relationship and lay a secure foundation for the future. I do not see clients in person.
Why is Pre-Marital Counseling So Important?
First-time marriages end in divorce 50% of the time, and most occur during the first seven years.
Second marriages end in divorce at the rate of 60%.
Third marriages end in divorce at the rate of 73%.
The average couple waits six years before seeking marriage counseling.
That’s a shame. So much hurt could be prevented.
According to Dr. John Gottman, four behaviors predict divorce with 93% accuracy at 5.6 years after the wedding.
Emotional withdrawal and angry critical attacks predict divorce an average of 16.2 years after the wedding.
When you give yourselves the gift of pre-marital counseling, you will build a strong foundation from the very beginning so you can avoid the misery that leads to broken marriages.
The Counseling Process
We’ll begin with am assessment that provides insights into your relationship’s strengths and challenges. If you like you can complete this on-line at the Gottman Institute cost approximately $45.00. If you choose to complete a questionnaire that covers 30 categories including communication, conflict resolution, finances, and spiritual beliefs, your personality, your family of origin, and relationship dynamics. We can also discover this in our sessions
When we meet we will prepare you to celebrate your strengths and gain understanding how to resolve your differences as a couple and use them to gain momentum in the growth areas of your relationship.
What You Will Learn
Understanding, Healing, Growing, Holding, Glowing / Soul Contracts / Imago/ Bids for Attention / States and Traits / Either or thinking / Past Duality/ Childhood Wounds /The Presence Process /Divine Essence / Wholeness / Compassionate Dialogue / Frustration Dialogue Core Needs /Polarities / Toward/Against/Away Patterns /
Living Energy of Needs /
Self-care = Fullness Aliveness
Your Story = Pain bodies / Dealing with Past Hurts / Self Other Connection Styles / Understanding Feelings/Needs / Authenticity / judgements vs Observations/
Feelings vs. Thoughts / Requests vs Demands
Transformation Skills /Pain Bodies /Understanding/ Closeness / Caring Behaviors / Presence Process / Relationship Vision / Celebration Language of Love / Aliveness /Time Out / Language of Aliveness / Conscious Intention / Supporting Dreams /Natural Giving
Bibliotherapy: Recommended Reading
5 Love Language by Gary Chapman
Men are From Mars Women are From Venus by John Gray
Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson. Based on Attachment Theory
Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, 2015 revision by Dr. John Gottman
Nonviolent Communication by Dr. Marshal Rosenberg
Keeping the Love You Find, and/or Getting the Love You Want by Dr. Harville Hendrix
Timothy J. Ryan, Ph.D D.Div.
